Unmotivate your fear: Flying and Climbing

Lately (as in the last 6 months) I've been delving deep into my head and exposing my weaknesses. When I turned 25, something very odd started happening to me, I began to fear. I grew up traveling with my parents. Car trips from our home in Louisville, KY down to Florida, Colorado, Canada, even Mexico. When I was 10, my father accepted a job and we all moved to Hong Kong and the travels we did from there, well, they were exotic. So, who'd a thunk I would start to fear flying in an airplane??? But it happened. Followed by a fear of heights and the ocean. WHAT!!! I started surrendering my will to my fears and instead of them just quietly backing down into the narrows of my mind, they ruled it. When we flew from LA to NZ last spring my fear of flying was at an all-time high. Every bump sent me into a near heart attack/ panic attack (and it was a very bumpy flight). My fear was starting to exhaust me. When we landed in New Zealand, I spent 3 blissful months until the prospect of getting back on the airplane entered my head when we were still two months from returning home, enter my anxiety once again.

Fear builds on itself.

When it comes to high ball bouldering, you have to trust yourself and before you try a climb look at it, know your ability and assume you can and will do it before you get on it. So I started small, got a little bigger, then a little bigger. My first high balls were probably really scary to watch as I lost all sense of technique at the top of climbs and my fear would send my feet skating and my hands clambering for the top (GASP). But the more I did the more I could relax when I got high off the ground. This sense of relaxation when the fear started to set in was a technique I started using in more than just climbing.

photo by Derek Thatcher

Replace fear with a positive feeling.

A few days before we set off back across the ocean on our 12 hour flight, I started meditating on the idea that flying was fun. I imagined myself tucked in an economy chair with clouds floating out the window. I didn't imagine a bumpy flight or Ava misbehaving. I meditated on the idea of a perfect, bump-less, relaxed flight. And boy do you get what you put out there. The flight home was about as nice and relaxing as a flight can get.
When we returned home I didn't have much time to think about my fears, with friends visiting, family to catch up with and summer in full swing. It wasn't until Outdoor Retailer Trade Show in SLC that I got to address my fears again. I hadn't taken a lead fall in, hmm, 3 1/2 years or so. I met up with some friends Jonathan Seigrist and Andy Mann and we decided we weren't going to let the intense heat keep us off the rock. But I didn't have a harness. Outdoor Retailer always comes through. I got a brand new Arcteryx R-280. Now I have to interject here. Have you seen these harnesses? Have you tried them? They are so barely there its like you aren't even wearing one. And the technology is serious. I do not worry about my harness. Part of my fear of heights is increased exponetially when I climb routes. It's not that I'm scared of the climbing, I'm scared that my gear is going to fail. I look at the rope as I clip it into the quickdraw and as it bends my fear says, "The rope is going to break!" Or as I'm staring at the anchors while I'm cleaning my fear says, "The anchors are going to blow." It's my unfamiliarity with my gear and the fact that I have to trust something other than myself and my spotters that motivates my fear. But that day out with Andy and Jonathan I asked them not to tell me grades and I lead everything I got on. My fear was in check. I took my first whippers in years and with these two as climbing partners I felt safe and motivated by something more... flirting.

Photo by Andy Mann

Fear can be secondary to fun.

This experience catapulted me into a new phase of my climbing: Rout'in!! I now have a feeling to replace my fear when I climb high balls or routes. I flirt with the rock and I have fun with it.
Fear builds on itself. Replace fear with a positive feeling. And say to yourself, "Have fun." That's what its about anyway right.

UC MAG #33........GO OUT AND GET IT!!!!

The new Urban Climber is OUT, and look who gets a shout out on the COVER!!!

Photo by Andy Mann

Just click on the photo to read the interview.

Thanks for reading!

The Mark

The flu has hit. It knocked me down for 5 days. Flu: 2 Carrie: 0 . I get winded just sitting on the couch so I thought I'd wrap up some long awaited projects.

June 2008, I had an idea whilst driving with my friends Greg Locker and Shadow Ayala through the blazing hot western desert. I wanted to make a film based on the question, "What is The Mark?"I was seeing this theme in everything around us, so why not document it and see how it presented itself in our lives as well as the lives of stranger who had left their mark all around us. The West is full of small ghost towns, graffiti on old gas stations, abandoned furniture in strange places. It all seemed so connected somehow though it didn't quite congeal until I took out my camera and watched the world around me from a new point of view: the outsiders. I'd love to hear any of your points of view so feel free to chime in!

Obscurity Tour: Ralph Machio

Jason Jackson and I headed out yesterday to one of Flagstaff's obscure five star problems. Its located off the beaten path of West Elden and presents a style of climbing that is unlike anything else in Flag. You begin on a sloping rail tick-tacking yourself to the bulge where you make a karate kick (the Ralph Machio move) to find whatever foot hold will allow you to reach up and negotiate with a series of nipple sized "holds" trying with every move to roll more of your weight onto the precarious standing foot that is squeezing to stay put allowing you to finally grab the "Thank you god" hold at the top. Jason dispatched this so quickly I didn't have time to bust out my camera...so your stuck with footage of me. Enjoy, and happy hunting.

Slideshow!!!!

THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO CAME OUT!!!!!

Please come out Sat the 26th to the Vertical Relief Climbing Gym on San Francisco Street in Flagstaff for my slide show on climbing, surfing, and traveling in New Zealand. I'll be presenting Kyle George (my husband) photos and narrating a bit. I'll also be showing a little film that gives a good idea of what climbing in New Zealand is all about!!! This event is free and there will be a BBQ before hand so BYOB and bring something to put on the grill. There will also be a raffle with great prizes from my sponsors including a PrAna outfit, Mad Rock shoes, VooDoo gear, and MORE!! Raffle tickets are only $5. Bring a friend and be ready to see photos of secret crags, private surf spots, high ball boulding, and raising a child in the outdoors of New Zealand is all about! See you there!

Kick'in it Old Skool with John Sherman

This past season I noticed that all the great climbs I had been doing were all put up by John Sherman. I'd walk off the top of one asking, "That was great. I wonder who FA'd it?" The answer John Sherman. Or "Who was crazy enough to come out here and put up this amazing thing?" (The Devil's Butthole, Hueco Tanks)... John Sherman. The list goes on. It seems I had fallen into a path of synchronicity with climbs by the legend known as "The Verm". To my delight he drove his self contained 4 wheel drive Ford Van over to see what Flagstaff had to offer in the hottest months of the year. But I'll tell you, what we got was a lightning and thunder filled day in amongst the ferns and some fun, rarely/ if ever, climbed boulder problems. I followed his lead up line after line, brushing off holds as we went and knocking for loose rock. I learned more about bouldering's bold beginning's in one day with Sherman than I have in 8 years of climbing. It was a great opportunity for me to talk about the relevant issues in climbing today and what the future may hold.
If I came away with anything it's this:
Be simple with your climbing motivation. Be bold but know your limits and risks. Know when to walk away. Don't chase grades but style points. It's not what you do, it's how you do it.

Here is a brief segment from our day. Enjoy!

Thanks for visiting.

Forward MOVEment

Hello! We are back in the USA and for all of you who have been following us on surfandstone thank you for your attention. Since our return I've been busy catching up with friends, writing for magazines (coming soon), finishing up a short film of climbs in NZ, and of course climbing! This is just a shorty to let you know I'm back and will be posting on this blog primarily. Thanks for hanging with ME!